Bullies
This morning, Good Morning America had a segment on bullies in the workplace, and how to deal with them. Apparently, 40% of Americans report that they have been bullied in the workplace. My guess is that at least 35% of that bullying takes place in law firms.
I have never worked for a lawyer who wasn’t a bully of some sort. This isn’t to say that all lawyers are bullies, but in my experience, most of the ones I’ve worked for like to bully their staff and even other lawyers who work for them.
In my last job, I worked for a guy who was a known screamer and you could hear him bellowing through the hallways at least 2 or 3 times a week. When he was frustrated or irritated, he would tell someone how stupid they were or scream at anyone who was unlucky enough to get in his path. In fact, when I saw the movie, “Devil Wears Prada,” I didn’t see where Meryl Streep’s character was all that bad. In fact, I wondered what the fuss was about, because compared to some of the women I’ve worked for, she actually seemed pleasant.
I worked for another lawyer who never had anything nice to say to anyone. His goal was to make everyone’s work life miserable. He told me this once, proudly boasting that he had the highest number of billable hours in the firm, therefore, he could behave however he wanted, because they would just replace every person who quit. I began job hunting immediately after that conversation. However, I got sick from the stress one winter and my cold progressed into pneumonia, where I missed work for 3 weeks. I even had a doctor’s note. I could not talk, but he would call me every couple of days to ask me some ridiculous question about work. When I returned to work, I had a vacation planned for two months later, and he told me I would not be allowed to go on vacation. When I informed him I already had the vacation approved by HR and had my plane tickets purchased, he told me, “Too bad, you will not be going or I will fire you.”
The Human Resources rep did override him and I was “allowed” to go on vacation, but as I was putting my luggage in the car to go to the airport, this guy called me to scream at me because I had stayed until 9 p.m. the night before finishing a project but I had left instructions with his secretary to distribute the copies the next day. He felt like I should have distributed the copies before I left and he told me how disappointed he was in me because I had been told I could take this vacation only if I had completed the project before leaving town.
I really don’t think he should be called a bully, he should be called an asshole. With the economy rapidly declining, I feel sorry for people who are stuck in jobs like that one where they have to tolerate this insane behavior just to get a paycheck. And that’s the rub — employers know that people are desperate to keep their jobs, therefore, I fear that this problem is really worse than what I’ve experienced or heard about.
The article and story this morning stated that bullying occurs more often than sexual harassment because it is not illegal to bully someone. One of the “tips” given to deal with bullies is to tell them “Please do not talk to me that way.” I have tried that before, and been called overly sensitive and unable to work in an environment that is male-oriented, which is another form of bullying, isn’t it?
Unfortunately, I don’t think there’s an answer for how to deal with workplace bullies, except to look for another job or thicken your skin and ignore it. Those types of people do not change, and as long as they are making money for the company, most times, they will not be forced to improve their behavior.
March 26th, 2008 at 12:28 pm
I totally worked with a bully. She googled my name, found my blog and almost got me dooced. I’m alot more careful about my blog content, and constantly google my own name to make sure my blog doesn’t come up - but sheesh! Grow up - if you have a problem with my blog talk to me about it first, don’t go running to HR!
Visit me @ http://www.momontherun.net
March 26th, 2008 at 5:50 pm
Hi Trish, here I am. Thank you for the site.
March 27th, 2008 at 12:39 am
WHAT THE- WHY ARE YOU WRITING ABOUT ME IN YOUR WEB LOG WHEN YOU SHOULD BE BACK HERE AT YOUR DESK????????
REMEMBER- IF YOU DON’T COME IN TO WORK ON SATURDAY DON’T BOTHER SHOWING UP ON SUNDAY.. MMMKAY? YYYYYEAAAAAAHHH….
March 29th, 2008 at 7:31 pm
You can come work for me any time you want. I’m a nice lawyer, not a bully!
April 4th, 2008 at 8:34 am
You know, it’s funny you say that. My cousin worked in HR for a big law firm in LA, and said the same thing. The lawyers she worked with were the biggest bullies ever, and she was screamed at on a very frequent basis. Last year she quit and went to work for a media company. She’s MUCH happier. But, you know, she’s an HR bigwig - if anybody knew how to get somebody in trouble for that kind of behavior, it would be her, so I guess there’s no ‘official’ way around it other than quitting.