Transitions
Today is the last day of school for my son. As I reflect on the past year, I am reminded of our many struggles, and everything that happened over the course of this school year. It has been a very difficult year for both of us. It has been a difficult many years, to be quite honest.
Two years ago after a horrible custody trial, my son went to live with his father. “Experts” told me that he would adjust and insisted that I would gradually see him improve, both in his grades and his behavior. I wasn’t buying it. I was right. Things only got worse. He did horribly in school and his behavior worsened. I wondered if I was losing him and it seemed like no one cared about him, only their own selfish motives.
Last summer, he came home. It was a battle, but he came home to stay. Words cannot describe the list of emotions I went through during this time, how much money I spent driving back and forth to pick him up, making sure I spent every spare moment I had reassuring him that nothing had changed. Looking back, I have no idea how I spent as much time on the road as I did, sometimes spending 4 hours a day with the back and forth traveling — picking him up, dropping him off, taking him to school, taking myself to work, etc. etc. etc.
In July 2006, the nightmare seemed to be over. After a not so smooth legal negotiation, I regained custody of my son. Things were looking up and my life seemed to have balance once again. In fact, after years of struggling in school after being diagnosed with ADHD, my son was actually taken off of the modifications that had been made for him in years past, because he was showing so many signs of improvement. His school counselor could not believe he was achieving so much without medication or behavioral modification.
Unfortunately, things were not quite balanced and the battle continued to be an uphill one. In December 2006, my son’s father died. My son missed his final exams and spent the Christmas holidays mourning his father. Upon returning to school, he had to make up his exams and jump right into the new semester. I was worried he would suffer a setback and the semester of progress would be lost.
Again, more battles, but things went up, not down. My son will be finishing the school year with not just passing grades, but very good ones. The strength he has shown this year brings tears to my eyes. I truly believe that he has more character than I ever hoped possible. As I reflect on the progress he is made, I am not only proud, but my hope is renewed. I only wish I could show as much strength and character as he has in his short life.
Watching him grow up and thinking about everything he’s been through, and the time I will not get back, I am sad, but also hopeful for his future, and reminded that we are still forever young, despite the passing of time.
May 31st, 2007 at 11:48 am
Ready this brought tears to my eyes. My son did exactly what his father said he wouldn’t…he graduated high school. He also has a good job, making good money, with benefits! Going through these struggles brings us closer to our children. We can’t forget the past, we can only hope to make our future more memorable.
May 31st, 2007 at 12:06 pm
You know, Nettie, after reading back over this post after reading your comment, I realized I am probably giving the impression that he’s graduating high school. He’s still in junior high — I was just thinking about the last day of school and the past school year.
Your son accomplished the ultimate revenge, huh? Proving an ignorant person wrong.
May 31st, 2007 at 8:30 pm
I’m so happy Trish - with all that has gone on - I guess it also shows what a great mom you are! You’re his rock.
Way to go, Kyle!
May 31st, 2007 at 8:34 pm
He did it with your support. You should be as proud of yourself as you are of him.
June 1st, 2007 at 8:50 pm
Newt said it- you guys obviously make an unbeatable team… thanks for posting about this, it’s great to hear such good news
June 2nd, 2007 at 8:49 pm
I think going through some tough times really does make us stronger and sometimes better people.
June 7th, 2007 at 12:45 am
Good for him AND you. He wouldn’t have been able to do it otherwise.
I remember the problems from ages ago. I’m sorry it took so long for y’all to get there, but glad that you have.
November 2nd, 2007 at 1:13 am
Wow. For a boy in junior high your son is amazing. He sounds very mature for his age. Junior high is a tough event when all is well at home and in one’s life. Your son has coped with serious issues and overcome hurdles most adults could not handle. I’m impressed wiht him and with you. You’re his mom and obviously, you are doing something very well.
I have 2 teenage boys, 16 and 19 and while they’ve had a challenge or two neither one has risen above the fray quite yet.
December 9th, 2007 at 9:22 am
You are doing a great job, Trish!
Your ex died? I have missed alot!