Priorities for Children
“Thank you for calling Humble Pediatrics. Because your call is important to us, we ask that you listen carefully to the following options:
For an appointment, press 2;
to speak to a nurse or for a Ritalin refill, press 3;
for a referral press 4;
for the business office, press 5;
for a prescription refill, press 6;
if you are a physician, press 7;
for our fax number, mailing address, or directions to our office, press 8;
if this is an emergency, press 9. . .”
Two things concern me here. An emergency is 9? You have to listen to all that bullshit to get to the answering service to page a doctor? However, I can live with that, because I’d go to the emergency room for something immediate.
Number 3 is what concerns me the most. Press 3 for a Ritalin refill. It’s that easy. I know this, because everyone keeps pushing Ritalin at me for my son. You know what’s wrong with him? HE’S A BOY. I remember so many boys in my class in elementary school who stayed in trouble for talking and not being able to sit still. No one thought they needed drugs. No one even considered that they had a problem. They were boys. Funny boys, actually.
My son reads 2 grade levels above where he should be and he can tell you more than you ever wanted to know about anything regarding science. However, he can’t keep his mouth shut and he can’t stay in his chair. I send drawing paper and books to school, and the teacher takes them away from him when he gets them out after he’s done with his work. Yesterday, she asked me to stop sending him “distractions” to school. I asked her what he is supposed to do when he finishes his work or he has free time. Her response was “well, I have planned activities for them or we have quiet time.” She then politely suggested that I leave her to do the teaching. Ok, then teach my kid, don’t insist I medicate him to make your job easier. She then asked me if he knew there were consequences to his behavior at school. “I find that children who continue to misbehave in my classroom know that they will not get in trouble at home, so they don’t care. If I could have your assurance that he is going to receive some sort of punishment at home, it helps me discipline him in the classroom.” I politely suggested to her that she leave me to do the parenting.
She then handed me some literature about attention deficit problems in children and asked that I read it. My son has a problem focusing for an extended period of time. You know why? His mind is racing. He isn’t deficient. He lacks nothing except challenge. He is remarkably creative and highly intelligent, overly active verbally and physically. If he misbehaves in class, he is punished by getting no recess. Therefore, you are taking a child who can’t sit still and has too much energy, and punishing him by demanding that he sit still during the one time when he is allowed to play and get rid of that energy.
Now I’m confused. I remember days in school when we went outside on nature walks, and we spent recess deciding whether or not “Goat Man” really existed in the woods behind the school, and whether or not those kids we heard moved had really moved away or been eaten by Goat Man. When the teachers found out the ridiculous stories we had dreamed up during recess to scare ourselves so drastically, she made us all write a ghost story and gave a reward for the most imaginative one. That was challenging and encouraged our creativity. Something doesn’t have to be unpleasant to be a “punishment.” If a child is doing something that obviously shows the need for additional activity or motivation, pay attention. It’s not rocket science. Rant over. Go forth and prosper.
Leave a Comment